times grueling tribulation that comes through santification, we have not one single ounce of fear of Whom we belong to and where we are going. There is no fear in our salvation, our works, our rewards, or anything that may await us in heaven, and there is no fear of man and what he might do to us. We know there is nothing we can do to earn anything! We know He is the only one who can perfect us and prepare us, and we willingly LET HIM DO IT in great praise and thanksgiving through His Spirit. We are at total rest in His peace... that completeness and rest that produces a humble confidence (immovable assurance) that the Word speaks of... According to the eternal purpose which he purposed in Christ Jesus our Lord: in whom we have boldness and access with confidence by the faith of him. Ephesians 3:11-12 Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness [confidence] in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world. 1 John 4:17 Let us therefore come boldly [confidently] unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16 Do you ever ponder that "confidence" and what that really feels like -- to have a consistent, immovable assurance in His love for you that you can confidently approach Him and rest in Him, even when you have failed miserably or things are falling apart around you? I've begun to get a taste of it again, more consistently and assuredly. I am finding myself in His rest and peace more and more. And while I can write about what it's like to be perfected in His love, I can honestly say that I am still working towards this; there was much damage to overcome. Many of us do not realize the level of damage that results when false doctrine takes root. False doctrine can kill if it is not exposed, confessed, and uprooted. It is only by His grace that that's exactly what has happened with me! My storyAt this point, it is only His Spirit that can articulate this perfect love to me and begin to restore me. I am fully aware of what it looks like, and that all I have experienced in this regard is simply a means to an end. To think of where I was and where He has taken me now... I am completely overwhelmed with gratitude. Only I know how lost and dead I felt... unloved and set aside by the One I was so in love with because of what He did for me. It was horrible. But now... the night has passed and the Light has come! There is something I must share about this, and it will tie dircectly to what I share about Leah below. Only as I was speaking it to my dear friend this morning did I realize that my story was somewhat like Leah's. Obviously, it brought tears, awe, and much gratitude. I pray this blesses you! During the time that I experienced the perceived "rejection" of the Father and His Son, I was repeatedly reminded of things that were very condemning to my race of people, both by people I knew and things I would read. I was personally told that although I loved the Father, this did not mean He loved me, and that the nations were not His choice. I was told that the Bible was a Hebrew book -- by Hebrews, for Hebrews, and about Hebrews -- and no one else. I was told that we (the Gentiles, particularly white people) stole the book and applied it to ourselves and were living a lie. I was told that my salvation experience was a superficial "Christian" experience based on the "faulty love doctrine". I was basically told that salvation was for them and that what awaited me (and my people) was either hell or slavery, if we happened to make it to the kingdom. I did realize that much of what was being spoken to me was coming out of pain, but I also realized it was coming out of pride. Ultimately I knew it was all a lie -- but that was after the damage was done. I do not share this so you can feel sorry for me. I have responsiblity in this too; I received it... for a time. However, I was not so weak in my faith that I would believe just anything. My vulnerability came from what I had learned about the horrible racial division and abuse that had taken place in the past, and it had literally broken me. In addition to that, just prior to this I had suffered great tragedy in my family, and I was full of fear and grief and depression. As I mentioned in the post before, I was a sitting duck... the perfect target. This very extreme false doctrine, along with my fragile and broken state of mind at the time, devastated me... to the point that I had no idea why I was alive. How could I have been saved and transformed in such an amazing, supernatural way, just to have the Lord and God who did this miracle reject me? Was my purpose to suffer in this life knowing that He did not love me as a "punishment" for what "my people" had done to others? It was more than I could bear, and these things were continually spoken to me and over me -- and all by someone I dearly love and respected and trusted. I share all of this to say this one very important thing... Although I was extremely broken, very sad and depressed, greatly lacking faith in His love for me, and barely functioning... I NEVER turned from Him. I never stopped seeking Him, seeking holiness with all my heart, and I never stopped loving and obeying Him to the best of my ability. There was no way; I simply could not leave Him, even if He rejected me. I stayed the course, and I endured... by His grace and my true love for Him. I believe this was the sole reason that I overcame. I endured and overcame by LOVE! Through all of that, His steadfast, everlasting love was still IN ME, and therefore, I still loved Him -- even if He was to condemn me. His love brought life back to a very dead soul. I was dead, and I felt every ounce of it. But the story does not end there!! I claim now and forever with all confidence and thanksgiving... I AM ALIVE, I AM LOVED, AND I AM HIS! The "loved" brideOne day, I was pondering and writing how a bride feels when she is about to marry the love of her life... when all is pure and done right, and the two are coming together in total trust and submission to one another - with the Heavenly Father being the author and keeper of the union. I thought of her thoughts, ways, and attitudes towards her beloved soon-to-be husband. Then as I thought more about these, I asked myself if this is the way I feel now about my Beloved, soon-to-be Husband... Yahusha/Jesus. As you read these attributes of a bride, take it in and ask yourself also...
Philadelpha & LeahJust as the "unloved" bride could be somewhat connected with Ephesus and Leah, so too the "loved" bride can be connected with the church of Philadelphia and Leah (again). First, we all know that Philadelphia was one of the two churches for which Yahusha/Jesus had no correction, only praise. It is the church of Philadelpha, however, that is the one where love is a focus. As most know, the name "Philadelphia" means "brotherly love". Well, my thought is that we cannot have true brotherly love as our Savior explained to us (willing to lay our lives down for our brother) without His love fully received by us and operating in and through us. This church had it right and had her eyes directed in the right place. This church was a "loved" bride even by her own perception. She is so in His will and ready for Him that He says He is going to give her the name of His God, the name of the holy city of His God, and His own new name. As His bride, she will be taking His name! As I think of her, I think of all those things written in purple above about the bride who was resting in the love of her beloved and only focusing on him and making herself ready for him - she knew His love. In thinking of this Bride of Philadelphia and how He will give her His name, it reminds me of Psalm 45:10-11: Hearken, O daughter, and consider, and incline thine ear; forget also thine own people, and thy father's house; so shall the king greatly desire thy beauty: for he is thy Lord; and worship thou him. As His "loved" Bride, we are to "forget" in a sense our families and even our father's house, which represents our earthy identity, and we are to go through the open door to His tabernacle He has set before us, and we reside there with Him. We take His name, His identity, and His image. We are one with Him... we are a "loved" Bride through and through. And to Leah once again... In the first part of this post, she was the eptiome of the "unloved" bride. There is no doubt that Leah suffered and likely for a very long time. She loved Jacob with all of her heart, and I believe she wanted to be to him all that is written in purple above (and then some, as I can only express in part). But the fact remains that she was always the second choice. It certainly reminds me of the pain I went through in my time of rejection, so I can have some idea even spiritually. However, the story does not end here with Leah. As we know, Rachel passed away quite early in her life after giving birth to Benjamin. This left Leah as the only true bride amongst two handmaidens. The Word says that Leah was "tender-eyed", and this means that she was delicate, timid, and spoke words gently; she was a tender soul. Seveal years ago, I read something in the Book of Jubilees about Leah that blessed me so much. As I was pondering all of the parts of this post, I was reminded of what I read. This book shared some very beautiful things about Leah in the context of her death and how Jacob handled it. I would like to share it exactly as it is written in the book so that you can receive the full blessing. And Leah his wife died in the fourth year of the second week of the forth-fifth jubilee, and he buried her in the double cave near Rebecca his mother, to the left of the grave of Sarah, his father's mother. And all her sons and his sons came to mourn over Leah his wife with him, and to comfort him regarding her, for he was lamenting her. For he loved her exceedigly after Rachel her sister died; for she was perfect and upright in all her ways and honoured Jacob, and all the days that she lived with him he did not hear from her mouth a harsh word, for she was gentle and peaceable and upright and honourable. And he remmeberd all her deeds which she had done during her life, and he lamented her exceedingly; for he loved her with all his heart and with all his soul." Jubilees 36:21-24 Although Leah was initially "unloved", her unending love for Jacob caused her to overcome and endure all the suffering that came with feelings of rejection and being the lesser of Jacob's two wives. Leah obviously loved Jacob with the love of God that was in her. Leah was the epitome of a pure bride and virtous woman, and her ability to consistently and enduringly love in thought, deed, and words brought about an "exceeding love in both heart and soul" for her by Jacob whereby he would neve forget all her good deeds she had done in her life. She never turned from Jacob in the midst of rejection and pain; she continued to love and seek to be his perfect bride. She endured by and through love and became a "loved" bride! Before moving on from this section, I feel it necessary to share all of the favor that was poured out upon Leah in her life, clearly displaying the love of the Father for her and in her.
ConclusionIn His love, we are all called to endure till the end. Without fully receiving the love of our Heavenly Father, through His precious Son Yahusha/Jesus the Messiah, we cannot and will not operate in that love as we should. I believe that it is highly possible that in this state, we will remain an "unloved" bride, as this will be our perception -- our belief -- our reality. On the contrary, however, there is nothing more sure or more steadfast or more unchanging or more perfect than the love our King and Father has for us - NOTHING! It is now past time that we believe Him and live in the utter joy and peace and strength of this love. We simply will not survive what is coming without it. I end this with the words of Paul as he described the assurance of this love... Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:37-39
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As I was initially inspired to write this post through Art’s message, I thought the title would be different than I have now titled it. This is because at the time I was listening, a familiar pain had already been brewing in my heart and then came to its fullness yesterday. I didn't realize at that time that these things would be linked together and would form a message that I very much needed to hear. I desire to share this with my brothers and sisters who may also be in a similar situation -- for His glory and your edification. First I want to share that the title of Art’s message is called, “Knowing from Whence He Came”. This message reveals the deep revelation and impact of the knowing of the depth of what our Messiah, God incarnate, sacrificed to step out of complete and perfect oneness with the Father, that which He eternally had before the foundation of the world, to come to our realm and literally BE us. He became us to the point He took on our wretchedness and filth to crucify it and gain the ultimate victory over it – all in utter purity and obedience to the Holy One of Light. What He left behind is unfathomable, and Art does an amazing job, only through the Spirit, in revealing this. His goal was to help us see, as it was revealed to him, the magnitude of which can only be seen with spiritual eyes -- that we may have this KNOWING inscribed in us and as a result be able to do just as our Messiah and Savior did – sacrifice ourselves. This message is the reality of our existence, and it is simply not preached or taught much at all. As I was listening to this, several things began to come up in my heart and mind – all while a totally separate thing was going on in me… the brewing of a familiar pain that I thought was finally in my past. I’ll share about that part later. This message was all about the true knowing and adoration of the Messiah – not the “adoration” of the world that is abused in its use of this word, but the true meaning of adoration that is only applicable to the Savior and King of the world. It is an adoration that is authentic, pure, and steadfast because we KNOW; we KNOW the depths of His sacrifice. We know as He did. Art gives his full two-hour message primarily on one scripture that speaks of this knowing… Jesus knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he was come from God, and went to God… John 13:3 Amazing thing is that this is also applicable to us. Do we truly know within ourselves, the depth of our being, that we have come from God, Yahuah, and are going back to God? And do we fully understand all that our Savior sacrificed to rescue and save us -- before the foundation of the world as well as in the world? This knowing is best described in Hebrews 10:34, as Art shared: For ye had compassion of me in my bonds, and took joyfully the spoiling of your goods, knowing in yourselves that ye have in heaven a better and an enduring substance. Hebrews 10:34 This knowing we must have is inscribed in the fiber of our souls and being. It is the knowing that secures our oneness with Him and equips us for full endurance. It is a “knowing within ourselves”, which is the very expanded version of believing. Believing is not enough; we must know that we know that we know, to the point that our actions live this knowing consistently. It's a settled knowing that becomes our identity, and it cannot be shaken. As we are growing into this place of knowing, many times our circumstances and trials and sufferings can create a pothole in the road for us. The sometimes unbearable related feelings can become so overwhelming that our knowing becomes clouded and distorted, and we begin to base the knowing on our felt "truth" instead of the truth. In my own present journey, I know this process quite well and find myself weary at times revisiting the things that I thought were overcome. This can be discouraging, but I know without doubt that He finishes. It is already finished, accomplished, and done. He will finish His own workmanship; He will perfect His own -- those He purchased with His sacrifice and His own blood. So in the midst of hearing and receiving this wonderful message by Art Katz, a test was being prepared for me. I will not go into the minute details, but I will say that it involved the possibility of me finally having the joy of being near family again but then having the sinking disappointment that this may not be after all. This triggered something in me. As many of you you know, I lost my family (mom, dad, and brother) in a fairly short period of time, and it has changed me in all honesty. I know it has been for my good (because He said ALL things are for my good); but not all good is fully manifested yet. I will admit I still struggle in many ways. Very shortly after these losses, the Father also asked me to relinquish all needs of comfort that I thought I could have from my sons and to solely rely on Him. That was hard, because the presence of my sons could have made my wounded and weary flesh heal a bit faster… or so I thought. That was not Father’s plan… He was to be my sole Source for this healing. While it felt like the most horrible thing that could happen to me in the midst of so much loss, I can look back now and see the absolute love in it – the total love of my Bridegroom being the only one to comfort and heal me. I know He is jealous over this, because I am His Bride, but in all honestly, I want to KNOW this every second of every day without wavering!! I want to live every day in the absolute knowing of what He sacrificed for me and that I am truly His as His Beloved Bride -- without one single doubt. I have said this many times in the last months and remember when this understanding hit me… the Father’s love for us is so great (and the Word actually calls it “cruel”) that He will allow whatever level of suffering is required that He may have us with Him forever and ever. He will allow us to suffer so greatly to the point we feel we could die in our hearts – all so that we can be in His very presence always. In other words, He will do with us what it takes to have us, just as He did with Himself to have us. He will not lose us; therefore, He will “kill” us here if that’s what it takes (and obviously I am speaking of levels of suffering and death to flesh). And unfortunately, that is what it takes. While our Savior was God incarnate, He experienced and felt even greater sufferings that we could never bear, but He overcame. The Word says that He learned obedience by the things He suffered. We also must do the same, and while the Son had the Father in Him to be His strength to endure, we have the Son in us to do the same (for He in us is the hope of glory!). Many times, however, we put a stop or delay to this suffering through following our unbearable feelings and resulting murmuring, and then the process starts over again. If we are His, it shall be, and therefore, we simply must deliver ourselves up to suffer as He did, knowing we will ultimately endure, overcome, and obtain the reward. That is the promised glory of pain. So yea, I can say all of this and understand it, but can I live it? Can I reach the place of knowing the magnitude of His sacrifice (to that degree that Art describes in his message) and living this by my own complete sacrifice for Him? I so want to, but at the same time I know I cannot in myself. It can only be done by His power, His love, and His Spirit in me. I can only surrender and obey, which I will admittedly say that it is not always easy – no way is it easy when the feelings of suffering overtake to the point our bones within our physical bodies are screaming in weakness – reaching the point in our hearts that we would rather give up than feel the pain anymore. David wrote about this feeling – and so here we have the very “man after God’s own heart” struggling just as we do. What a comfort!! Selah… O lord God of my salvation, I have cried day and night before thee: let my prayer come before thee: incline thine ear unto my cry; for my soul is full of troubles: and my life draweth nigh unto the grave. I am counted with them that go down into the pit: I am as a man that hath no strength: free among the dead, like the slain that lie in the grave, whom thou rememberest no more: and they are cut off from thy hand. Thou hast laid me in the lowest pit, in darkness, in the deeps. Thy wrath lieth hard upon me, and thou hast afflicted me with all thy waves. Selah. Psalm 88:1-7 We know that David overcame… by the Word – the Son and Spirit of the living God -- and His immeasurable grace. He knew the Messiah in the way that Art Katz explains; he knew the depths of the salvation of God. Obviously this too is our remedy. This is also our lot – this is our life and the plan of our full redemption and Bridal preparation. It is our destiny… to suffer, to be transformed, and all to the glory of God, to become His image. This is not to say the Father does not bless us and give us the desires of our hearts, both spiritually and physically. He does, and we don't deserve it. This is to say, however, that we cannot be conformed into the fullness of His image without suffering; it is impossible, because the Savior Himself set that in motion. And to be in the direct presence of a Holy God full of Light... to be the actual Bride of the Son of God, we must reflect the Son. This morning as I was processing my overwhelming feelings of sorrow and disappointment, I wrote down some truths about these “things” that can overtake us and force us to believe their reality, when in fact, many times true reality is the opposite. These are the things that take our knowing backwards into the reality of our pain instead of the reality of His sacrificial love which sets us free, even in the midst of pain. I would like to share these now:
It is further an amazement to me that as I was experiencing all this in the last 3-4 days, my sister Pietra was preparing her latest teaching – perfectly connected to what I have shared, including Art's message. His message and her teaching go hand in hand, and both spoke to me before, during, and after my little sorrow episode. The Father was ahead of me, just as He is always is! I also know that there are others close to me going through similar things where past wounds and the associated pain have resurfaced, and we know there is a purpose! It is important that we see and appreciate that as we go through these things, our Father is behind the scenes preparing an answer and understanding and direction for us through His chosen vessels (or other means). He is always timely and provides His strength at the exact moment of need. Pietra's message was the icing on the cake in my situation, giving me more in-depth understanding of the reason for my continued suffering, my sometimes erroneous expectations of spiritual things, and the reminder needed that this all simply must be for me to have that which I crave and desire. As she said to me this morning, "Remember, He is dealing with you as His child, not a bastard". That alone was a "case closed" truth needed to press on! Earlier in this post, I spoke of us delivering ourselves us to the suffering that is required for our perfection (completion) in Yahusha. As I typed that, I thought of what Pietra shares in this latest teaching… that ultimately we reach the point that we actually DESIRE this suffering. We don’t just go through with it as our "only choice" or because it's the right thing. We become like Him and even like our brother Paul and others and find the glory in it so much greater that we begin to actually desire and joy in this suffering. That feels far away for me, but with Him all things are possible. Bottom line is that the call is great, and the cost is great – greater than we ever imagined or expected. But then again, it was the same for our Bridegroom – except that He KNEW and He still did it. Truly knowing this (the innermost knowing) is what will bring us the actual desire to suffer alongside Him and for as long as it takes. In closing, I would like to share both the message from Art Katz, “Knowing from Whence He Came”, as well as Pietra’s latest teaching applicably called, “Servants of the Most High God”, should you be lead to partake and receive. Again, these are both connected to each other, and both are related to the personal things I shared. The Father orchestrated the timing of everything as a full message to me as it transpired, and therefore I know it is likely going to be exactly what someone else needs to hear as well. Both messages are rich in truth that will deeply inspire and bring a joy of understanding that will revive our weary hearts. May you be blessed and edified! All praise, glory, and honor to the One and Only Holy One – our Rock, Fortress, Deliverer, Savior, and Father. May we keep our eyes solely on Him, even when it feels that our eyes and hearts are failing us; in this we are sure to overcome. Please note, playbacks for Art's teaching on other websites is not allowed, so to listen you will have to go directly to YouTube via the button below. For consistency sake, I will link Pietra's teaching the same way.
The gate (G4439 – a gate, that is, the leaf or wing of a folding entrance) is straight (G4728 - narrow, from the base G2476 to stand, abide, bring, continue, covenant, establish, lay, present)
Narrow (G2346 – to crowd, afflict, throng, suffer tribulation, trouble; from the base of G5147 – to rub, a rut or worn track) is the way (G3598 – a road, a progress [the route, act, or distance]; figuratively a mode or means, journey, highway) After putting all that together, I believe it it would be safe to say it this way: “The entrance into eternal life is narrow and established in covenant – exclusivity and commitment unto oneness, and the journey thereto is progressive and includes suffering and tribulation.” We cannot enter into the ultimate reward of eternal life without our commitment in word and deed to covenant, and our covenant is based on faith in Yahusha as our sole redemption. He is the Mediator and High Priest of the New Covenant between us and Yahuah, to prepare and restore us to the eternal presence of Father God Almighty. Most of us already know and have experienced the suffering and great tribulation of the covenant journey/narrow path, and many of us feel it might not ever end. This is absolutely necessary, and there is no way around it. The Word is very clear about this. We have two choices: embrace it and wait for the glory to be revealed, or fight it with grumbling and complaining. I know which one we all want, but it is obvious that we cannot do it alone in the flesh. Praise our God and Father through His Son Yahusha the Messiah that they have promised to do it IN US! But there is more. There is another aspect of this “narrow path” that has been very prevalent in my life as well as many others, so much to the point there are times I feel I cannot take anymore. Did you notice that one of the meanings of the word “narrow” is “to crowd”? This is so, because the path is only meant for one person at a time – it is isolated, personal, and at times extremely and bitterly lonely. It is your own personalized journey, ordered and orchestrated by the One who knows you better than anyone… to the depths and crevices of your heart. He knows your base and foundation (your bones, your personality, your wiring, your essence), because He knit you together that way. He also knows your junk – all the childhood events that molded you (and for some these are even difficult to remember and process), the mistakes, the rebellion, the doubt, the wretched acts… and He knows why. He is so wonderful and loves us so deeply that each of us has our own path – a very narrow path, so narrow that it must be walked alone... with Him, that He is literally formed in us. It is a path tailored especially for each of us by the Master Planner and Savior. This is how creative the Holy Spirit is in the New Covenant. Because He promises to “cause us to walk in His ways” (Philippians 2:13 and Ezekiel 36:27), our path is specific to us. He knows our frame and what it will take to get us there; He will finish the work in His way, the perfect way for us. All the more reason that we should be humble and meek when looking at another person’s journey, especially when it doesn’t look quite like ours. For this reason, whoa to us when we judge wrongly! The entrance (gate) is by faith and covenant, and the journey (path) will be perilous and lonely. But as Yahusha told us over and over, He is with us until the end of the age. He will not leave us nor forsake us as we walk His path carrying our own cross till we get to the place of our death. And as we are crucified with Him, we remember that death by crucifixion involved torment and torture – a slow death that destroys the flesh and resurrects the spirit into perfection and eternal life. We die with Him and are raised up with Him, remembering these wonderful words of Paul: For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared
with the glory which shall be revealed in us. Romans 8:18 I would like to share an excerpt from the 2nd book of Esdras in the Apocrypha that speaks of this narrow path. This impacted me the first time I read it many years ago and has always stayed with me. It is the perfect picture of our narrow path with even more insight into why Yahusha had to walk it and why we also must follow.
And he [an Angel which had been sent to him the nights before] said unto me, Up Esdras, and hear the words that I am come to tell thee. And I said, Speak on, my God. Then said he unto me, The sea is set in a wide place, that it might be deep and great. But put the case the entrance were narrow, and like a river; who then could go into the sea to look upon it and to rule it? If he went not through the narrow, how could he come into the broad?
There is also another thing: a city is builded and set upon a broad field and is full of all good things: the entrance thereof is narrow and is set in a dangerous place to fall, like as if there were a fire on the right hand, and on the left a deep water: and only one path between them both, even between the the fire and the water, so small that there could but one man go there at once. If this city now were given unto a man for an inheritance, if he never shall pass the danger set before it, how shall he receive this inheritance? And I said, It is so, Lord. Then said he unto me, Even so also is Israel’s portion. Because for their sakes I made the world: and when Adam transgressed my statutes, then was decreed that now is done. Then were the entrances of this world made narrow, full of sorrow and travail: they are but few and evil, full of perils, and very painful. For the entrances of the elder world were wide and sure and brought immortal fruit. If then they that live labour not to enter these strait and vain things, they can never receive those that are laid up for them. 2 Esdras 7:2-14 (KJV) Most of us already know that this narrow path is extremely painful at times, including times of great dryness and loneliness. We use the word “wilderness” to describe some of these longer stops on our path. Just as with Yahusha for 40 days, the wilderness is the place of our necessary testing, where some of us spend more time than others. This testing is all about preparation for our eternal destination, but it is also about preparation for our assignment. Because we live in the last days when there will be a great harvest of lost souls, many of us are also likely being prepared to be a worker in this harvest. What great preparation and endurance this will require as the world will be in the midst of the greatest tribulation of all time and where mercy, love, and endurance will be required of us at levels we have never known! Most of us right now in this moment are like Peter... not realizing just how not ready we are for this. The magnitude of this assignment is massive. The wilderness stops can be some of the most challenging places along our narrow path, and they often bring us to a place of doubt and fear of our preparation for the future and to stand before our King and Judge. Because many of us currently find ourselves in this place, I wanted to share a short "pearl of wisdom" that my sister from South Africa shared with me that gave me the assurance and peace I needed. It is called, "His Finished Masterpiece". (And there is a story behind the new tab on this website where this pearl of wisdom is located. If you would like to know more about it, click here for the applicable blog post (the story is quite amazing!). May the Most High God, Yahuah, bless you and keep you and cause His face to shine upon you... and give you strength and peace that you may endure the narrow path to fulfill your calling and reach the eternal reward, Yahusha, our Beloved! Within the last month or so, I’ve had a realization or revelation that I was able to put into words. I’ve repeated this to those closest to me whose main goal in life is to seek the Father through His Son. It’s just been IN me. This is generally what I spoke: We serve a God who would crucify and kill His own creation in the midst of them being alive, while they are living and breathing -- to the end that He will ensure that they are there with Him, in all the beauty He has created for them, for all of eternity. That is a love that is incomprehensible. This is true of our God, the God of love – Yahuah, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. He is the only God who loves so much and so deeply and so purely that He will kill His own to do the work within them so they may be with Him forever. Does that even make sense in our human minds? We know this is true and is His very nature, because He has shown us in His Word through live examples of His dear ones like Job, Joseph, David, and Yahusha. Job in particular was a very righteous man according to the Word, but his suffering was more than our minds can even conceive possible. But what came from Job in all he experienced... a great seeing and knowing! I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You. Job 42:5 It’s true… we cannot fully see or know Yahuah through His Son Yahusha (Jesus) unless we suffer, unless we die. To know Him is to know that He is a God whose entire being is a consuming fire of holy light and love. He is One whose slightest glance and presence will annihilate sinful flesh on the spot – not because He is violent and condemning, but because His consuming light of love and holiness will automatically destroy anything that is opposed. He knows our frame and that we are but dust, only living and breathing because of His life within us; so to look upon us now is to kill us instantaneously. Although He knows this, yet He still does… kill us… because He must. To know Yahuah is to know that He will do what is necessary in us unto death. He does so slowly and in perfect order and timing and in a way that is gentle and long-suffering (although admittedly, there are times when it doesn’t feel very gentle). He shows us this path to death most perfectly through His Son, who was also killed. However, Yahusha took the ultimate path not required of man. Although being tempted in all things as we are and remaining fully pure and righteous, He was tortured mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, and He was “forsaken” by the One with whom He was one. He not only bore His cross, but He bore our sin. He suffered to the point that the natural water that would come through His body as tears and sweat came forth as blood. His very life was in that shed blood even then, while He was still breathing. We are not required to suffer to the point of blood while we are still alive, because Yahusha took that impossible feat upon Himself. But we are required to suffer nonetheless. We are required to follow Him, carrying our cross/burden, and be willing to die to ourselves, being crucified with Him (as Paul says in Gal. 2:20). We must die/decrease that He may live/increase in us. He has told us this repeatedly in His word; it just really doesn’t sink in until we find ourselves craving more and more of Him at any cost, and then it comes. As I spoke forth the words I shared above, I knew it was revelation that came from the Spirit and I was compelled to use my mouth to speak it as truth. But now I see even more that the timing was perfectly ordered and ordained. As I was speaking it forth in a knowing of only limited understanding, the Father was prepared to quickly give me more understanding by experience. In His grace, He shows us through experience that we may comprehend and that we may submit. In all honesty, I have been feeling the death of myself for about eight years now. I’ve called it my wilderness, because it has been one of death, barrenness, and loneliness – although I have learned and gained much spiritual endurance from it. There have definitely been streams of living water that He has given me to keep me alive in this wilderness, so that I can endure unto completion. There is always mercy in our suffering, for His mercy endures in all things and forever. I keep hoping my time in the wasteland is almost over, but there is one thing I must remember. I am supposed to die there, but the fullness of this death has still not yet come. A few days ago, I had an “episode” that has become somewhat of a regular occurrence since I lost my family, my 20+-year best friend, and other “possessions” that were not as important but had a significance at one time. It is an agonizing emptiness of feeling like an unloved orphan, being isolated from anything or anyone familiar, and a loneliness that swallows me up and pierces the heart just like death. In all honesty, these moments can leave me wondering why I am still here and feeling that I have nothing to offer anyone, not even my sons. While I know this is not true, I can become so “dead” in the despair that it’s hard to see anything else. Sometimes these episodes are so painful that I feel I cannot comprehend them or contain them. They are not always to this extreme, but sometimes it does go there, and this last time was one of those. On the other hand, somehow in the midst through the grace of Yahusha the Messiah, I have grown in the Spirit enough that I am eventually able to rise up out of that pit and praise the Father and thank Him for every loss and for every tear and for every inch of the grueling pain – and truly mean it! Does it stop the pain? No it usually does not, but it makes it bearable. It is then I remember that it is for His grand, perfect purposes and not mine, and it is a means to know and trust Him more intimately and perfectly. I remember this and accept it, and it strengthens me. It is for an eternal, glorious purpose; therefore, it can be (if I will receive it) a “light affliction” on this side compared to the glory to come. If I can stop and see myself as what I really am in His eyes – both absolutely the dust of nothing AND the absolute joy of His heart – I can rest in His strength while He sees to it that I keep going. That is what I have been doing, and that is the only reason I have made it this far. This dry and lonely wilderness and these episodes of death are absolutely necessary to break off any dependence upon anything else. I know the strength it is producing in me, and I know the Christ it is forming in me. It is pure fellowship with Him where His presence is literally all there is. There is nothing else. And as I have been telling Him for months now… IT IS ENOUGH! The day after this pitiful experience (and yes, pun intended because it felt like a pit!), I spent some time conversing with my precious sister and mentor, Pietra, from South Africa. This is a woman whom Father has chosen to be by my side during these last three years to share with me the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom she has gained from her own wilderness and death. I am constantly amazed and grateful that the Father would assign her to me, because I see where she is now, and it shows me where I am going – and it is no light thing!! We are continually in touch and typically exchange either by text or voice over Telegram. This same day we were sharing by voice back and forth, and as usual, what she shared resonated and comforted me greatly. It me took me one step further to understanding my own situation and the magnitude of this death that simply must take place. One of the messages in particular was so profound and confirming to the things Father was already showing me that I knew I was to transcribe it and share it. Her words were in response to my episodes of agony of nothingness, loss, loneliness, feeling abandoned by all, and wondering why I am here (and this is of course not the first time she’s heard this from me). What she shared was authentic wisdom, birthed from real experience where she lived it, endured it, and was resurrected up out of it. These words were breathed out by the overcoming Spirit of Yahusha in her, who she has allowed to be her ALL. As I listened, I felt nourishment and comfort as the words were like soothing honey poured over my head, and although they were different words, they formed the same message He had already begun to speak to me. What my sister shared is precious words of depth that can likely only be understood and received by those who are also tasting of this death. If you find yourself not understanding this now, please don’t worry or disregard it. If you are pursuing our God with all your heart, soul, mind, body, and strength, you too will likely enter into this. Father will do as He desires, even if it is just to plant these words within your spirit that they may spring up at the appointed time. Below are the words as she spoke them directly to me. But remember, these words are not just for me, not even for a minute! Please also receive them as yours. “I have now reached that place where I have no expectation from anyone, to be fed by anyone or to receive anything from anyone. My expectation is only of Him. We learn to walk without this where we have no source but Him. When we are called to walk alone with Him, He will strip and strip and strip, even to silencing the voices around us. I was thinking of Helen Keller, who did so much for the Kingdom of God. What a provision her deafness and blindness was for her, because it required her to lean solely on her God. In all of her immense lack, she chose to grow in absolute dependence upon Him. In the midst of my own great loneliness, Father told me that this loneliness was a gift. Even though we can sit back and think about it and agree that it has taught us much, we still have those moments when it is very difficult to deal with this loneliness, even knowing that it is a gift. The Father said to me, “Possess nothing, desire nothing, and be nothing. Be willing to be the world’s nobody, my nobody, even if forever.” I had to count the cost, even though I had no idea. I had to think of what it means to possess nothing, desire nothing, and literally become nothing. What does this mean? Loneliness is part of this. As long as we have anything that we depend upon or desire, we are still going after it in some way. As long as we still desire to be with people and still want that communication and the pat on the shoulder and the comfort and encouragement, then we are still yearning after that and desiring that. Desiring these things is not a bad thing, right? It is a natural desire and is how the Father made us to be dependent on one another as the body ministers to one another. We are social beings. So how does one marry these two dispositions where the one is natural and the other is most certainly unnatural? Being nothing, desiring nothing, and having nothing is completely unnatural. And because it is unnatural, it is actually spiritual. Our whole being is like a magnet to the natural; however, it is unnatural for us to be spiritual, and the world will tell us this. It will say that it is unnatural to not have these things or not want them… the encouragement, togetherness, love, appreciation, significance – and it’s not necessarily wrong to say that. But the Father is calling us to walk after the Spirit and not after nature, or the flesh, no matter how logically it makes sense. There are few who are willing to walk in this way, because the cost is so ultimate. There are even less who understand it, because they have never proposed in their hearts to truly possess nothing, desire nothing, and be nothing. Subconsciously, we are counting the cost, and most people are not willing to pay that price. As I sit here today, I am aware of a shift that has actually taken place in me. The only way I can explain it to you is that I possess nothing, I desire nothing, and I am nothing. It’s like I merely exist. And I know it is only Him who brought me to this place. It is only Him who can take you where become nothing and there is nothing in you of a natural desire that needs the natural things. Yeshua said that man should not live from bread alone (the natural), but from every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. To live from His words is not just the ability to be sustained when He speaks to you, but actually the words ARE the life in you. And that life is not just eternal life, but resurrection life. You live by that life now. Many subscribe to this resurrection life but actually live outside of the reality of it. They desire to have this but have it not, because they never truly entered into the death that must precede it. It is the death to the natural. For us to die to lustful pleasures -- fornication, adultery, stealing, lying, etc. -- is elementary. To die to the very life in you that requires you to become nothing… very few do this. This place where He has brought me to become that very thing that you yourself are desiring – which is because you desire truth and authenticity – requires the same death that you are now experiencing. But it is for the purpose of bringing you into resurrection life now! Not future (that too), but NOW! That death has to be utter and complete. It is a journey as you know. When you go into those moments where you feel it is like a dark pit swallowing you up in such sadness and heartache, remember Psalm 139 – that all you members were before Him when you were formed in the depths of the earth – all your members, which is your whole being – your organs, your flesh, your mind, your heart – your members. All of that is before Him and written in His book as He now forms you in the pit, the grave. Just think of the magnitude of that mercy to bring you to this place, however painful, and that it is such a grace and such favor and mercy of God – to extend to you that kind of sanctification that is so complete. How can one ever put a price on this? And yet He asks of us to count the cost for that life. It is death, it is utter death, and it is complete in all your categories. In His mercy He extends flickers of that resurrection life, the more we die. The Word says that the path of the righteous is like the sun that reaches noonday, ever increasing this life in you as you die in darkness. This resurrection life starts increasing and increasing in you all the more until it shines as bright as the sun at noonday where there are no shadows . When the sun is at its highest, there are no shadows. There will be no shadow in you – no darkness – because His light, His word, His truth, His life has entered into you because you were willing to go into the depths of the darkness of the grave. Only He can bring you up from that place. I pray this encourages you to stay the course, to know that there will be a moment where the light breaks through, just like the darkest night has to give in to the first light of the morning. Maybe that is why you love the dawn so much, the first light, because you long so much for His light to shine in your darkness. He is the Son, the strong man, that comes like the sun and races on His course, and He will not leave you in darkness. He will not leave you in that place of utter despair. He knows how long you need to be there, and He knows your breaking point.”
1. Our crucifixion involves the very godly attributes of our fathers of Israel:
3. Our burning “flesh” is a sweet-smelling aroma to Yahuah. We can only receive the fullness of the fire of Yahuah when we are willing to become the sacrifice.
As I pondered more about this suffering, I was lead to go back and look at my blog posts around the time that my dad passed away (he was the last of my family members to pass). I was lead to a particular post where I was able to write the words of the Spirit from a place of my own intense suffering. Only the Spirit can enlighten us to the sweetness of bitter and sometimes agonizing pain that we face in this life. I think this post is a perfect compliment to this current post. If you are in a place of suffering and need encouragement, please consider reading "The Sweetness of Suffering". I have transparently shared some things here regarding my own struggles and heart condition, and that can be a bit unsettling sometimes. However, His glorious ways are worth proclaiming, even if we expose ourselves! And also very importantly, YOU are worth it. It is just as Paul told the Corinthians in 2 Corinthians 4 (and in several other places as well), that all the difficult trials and challenges he and the others were enduring was for their sake, that the grace of Yahusha would reach to more and more people and increase thanksgiving to the glory of our God, Yahuah! I pray that this sharing edifies and encourages you in the way you need at this very moment! All praise, glory, and honor goes to our God and Father, Yahuah, through His beautiful Son, Yahusha the Messiah! It has been a month since I have been compelled to post anything, but that all changed this morning as I was blessed to pray at dawn, the time when Father seems ever so close. The last month has been a whirlwind, but it has been a good one! As I type this, I am reminded of my sister Dawn in the UK, for more than one reason. As she is known by Father, "Abba's Dawn" (new Dawn rising), her name fits perfectly to that which I would like to share today. Even further, a few weeks ago she said that Father gave her the word "whirlwind" to explain what was going on in my life at that time! Of course this was a perfect description, as during this time, I had experienced a whirlwind of the Father's power and presence through revelation, deliverance, and change! Before I share about the wonderful dawn that we experience every morning, I wanted to publicly thank my Father in heaven, Yahuah, through His Son Yahusha ha Mashiach (Jesus Christ of Nazareth), for all He has done in my life -- forever obviously -- but specifically in the last seven years. He has literally stripped me, exposed me to darkness I never knew existed, taken so much of what I loved, and even brought me to a place of loneliness and isolation that at times was quite bitter. How can I thank Him for all of this? Because ALL things work together for our good and His glory! What He has done in my heart and life, spiritually and for the sake of His kingdom, during this very long and dark wilderness time is phenomenal and could not have been accomplished any other way. I will say it was very hard and very dark at times, but His light NEVER left my heart. His light and strength was always there, giving me a hope that could not be diminished or taken from me. He was faithful to never leave me or forsake me, even when I felt as if I was on a deserted island with no light and no other soul in sight. He is worthy of great praise during these times, because just as His Son learned obedience by the things He suffered, so do His children -- and this is an absolute necessity to prepare us to be in His presence. During my time of suffering, I learned obedience, I learned reverence, I gained faith, I gained wisdom and knowledge, I learned patience, I learned much long-suffering; and most importantly I learned the reason for the suffering. I learned more about my King, and I learned more about His character and being; and in His grace, He shared it with me and taught me some of it. He taught me how to carry my cross and not to love my life unto death. I have much more growth to go, but I stay prayerful and hopeful that the worst of the suffering is over, even if for a little while!! As I just now typed out my gratitude, I realized that what happened in me for the second time was another "dawn" experience. The first time was when I was initially saved, back over 28 years ago. Then at a very dark time in my life, steeped in sin and rebellion, but also beginning to seek Him, the powerful light of Yahusha broke through my darkness and brought mercy and joy and a new life... His life, His breath in me! His light conquered the darkness in me and made me His through the infilling of His Spirit! Just as every day is new, brought into fullness through the break of dawn, we are too brought into newness by the breakthrough of His light through our dark hearts. And just as I experienced that new life back then, I have once again experienced it at a different level, as His light has broken through the darkness of a seven-year wilderness and brought me up even higher. For He is Light, and there is no darkness in Him. This God we serve is all powerful, almighty, and all light!! This is a good lead-in to what I feel lead to share. This breakthrough of dawn that we experience every single morning is not possible without darkness. Every evening, the darkness begins to encroach upon the light, eventually overtaking it and leaving all creation in the absence of light, craving the light once again. Then every single morning, without fail or delay, the light breaks through and brings us the precious dawn. Everything begins to come back to life after the stillness and emptiness of darkness. Have you ever pondered the absolute perfection of our Father's faithfulness to bring His light to us every morning? We trust it. We trust that morning will come, always and forever, never even thinking that it won't. So we blindly trust that the light will come, but do we trust the One who brings the light? Do I trust Him as much as I trust that the morning will come? I ask myself this, and I can say that this is the place of faith where I am growing to... a trust that is so absolutely sure that I never think about Him not fulfilling His word. This is a place of unending and immovable assurance, rest, shalom, and joy. It truly is resting in faith.
parents, and it has been with us ever since. Father uses this darkness for His glory. He even uses evil as His weapon or discipline rod. Nothing is wasted with Him. His light shines through the darkness, and He is glorified! Just look how we see His new mercy through the darkness! Every morning at dawn as His light breaks through, His mercies are brand new (Lamentations 3:22-23) and available to us. And every morning, He promises that joy will come; joy is restored to us daily (Psalm 30:5). Why mercy and joy?? Because this display of His glory is a constant reminder that His sure and powerful overcoming of the darkness will never cease! Whether it be each for each day, for every situation in our lives, or even all the way till the end - it will not falter and it will not fail! Mercy and joy are His, and He willingly, graciously, and generously gives this to His children over and over! As I ponder this daily display of faithfulness, it brings even more meaning to a scripture most of us know by heart... This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24 I pray that through this sharing, you will truly see that dawn has dominion! Dawn represents the breakthrough of the light of Yahusha, and He as the Light, has dominion over all things! It is He who reigns now in the heavens and will soon reign on the earth! It is He who is faithful to eternally destroy darkness and evil, bringing His light to cover us, and even to ultimately and eternally be our only source of light in all things. It is He who is light and has overcome the world!! For Yahuah, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Yahusha ha Mashiach. 2 Corinthians 4:6 I pray further that every dawn will be special for you, as you understand and intimately know that this is His time to constantly remind you, as His child, that He will never cease to break through your darkness, no matter what it is.... and no matter how intense or long it may endure. He will always break through, and in knowing this, you shall forever have hope of His never-ending mercy and joy! For Yahuah is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations. Psalm 100:5 It is of Yahuah's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. Yahuah is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. Lamentations 3:22-24 Special Note: There are many who still believe the notion inherited from the Babylonian captivity of Israel that the day begins in the evening; after all, this is what "they" have taught us. However, after very careful study of the scriptures, as well as even described above, it is very clear that the beginning or newness of the day is at dawn... that moment when the light breaks through the darkness... just as it did the very first day of creation. If you have never heard this or are not sure, please search it out carefully. It is even very clear in the first chapter of Genesis ("and evening and morning were the first day", remembering that you cannot have evening without light - the light is first!). You will find much liberty and joy in the truth of the dawn. If you are interested in this topic, you can check out a great study by clicking here. Another more condensed presentation on the power and beauty of dawn may be helpful as well; you can access this one here. This post is about suffering.... the necessity and beauty of the intensity of suffering... the necessity and beauty of the intensity of not only picking up our cross and carrying it, but being placed upon it. Let's face it, there is some suffering that feels as if we are that thief hanging on the cross next to the King of Kings, watching Him suffer the worst undeserved agony of all time, but yet being there right beside Him suffering a very intense, much-deserved agony of our own. (Please note that the word does refer to the cross as a tree, but for the sake of this post, I will use the word "cross" as that is most familiar.) I will be the first to tell you that there is much weakness in suffering. What I mean by this "weakness" is a failure to recognize the necessity and beauty of the intensity of suffering through lack of wisdom and knowledge of its purposes then resulting in an overflow of great misery and loss. In other words, in our own weakness, we either inconsistently see the necessity and beauty of it, resulting in a regrettable missed opportunity, or we don't see it at all. To not see suffering for what it is intended for the child of the Living God is to miss one of the greatest opportunities in our spiritual journey towards conformance to the image of our Beloved Savior. I can speak these words from experience. I am humbly grateful to be able to say that I recognized one of my greatest crosses for what it was and surrendered myself to the full magnitude of it -- completely against the will of my soul. This "magnitude" involved isolation from those I could touch and feel and so desperately needed; it truly was complete reliance on the Spirit of the God I serve. I had not previously known pain of this magnitude that could completely overtake body, soul, mind, and spirit. BUT, I knew this pain was of the suffering I must endure for the sake of the One who undeservedly suffered so much more for me... that I may partake in His sufferings and know of Him at a level of complete dependence (if led, you can read more about the details of this suffering in a previous post). Please note that this is not to say that any of our own works can apply to our salvation or sanctification, but it is our works from faith and our love for Him that bring us to the acceptance and endurance of suffering through Him. In my case, the Holy Spirit gracefully revealed this to me in the midst of what I was experiencing, and I am ever so grateful for the mind and strength of Yahusha (Jesus) in me that I was able to obey His way and endure. What has come from it, birthed out of His grace and mercy, has been a level of growth and sanctification I could not have attained through any other means. It was His will for me, and I cannot describe the gratitude I feel for it. Although I lost most of what meant anything to me, I see the spiritual purposes and fruit so clearly, and I thank my Abba Father from the depths of my being that He chose to give me this dose of suffering. Having said all that, I would be remiss not to confess the moments of doubt, fear, anxiety, despair, and even "whining" that I allowed in the midst of this. Although it was not near to the level of my past, it was still there nonetheless, and it still tries to creep in now in the aftermath. But when it does, my gracious Father is always there to immediately remind me of the pleasant and fruitful garden of His love and shalom that came from my experience and continues to pour forth even now. I cannot express my level of overwhelm and gratitude when I ponder all of it in remembrance. He is truly PERFECT in all His ways, and I love Him with a love I cannot put into words... knowing that my love for Him is solely the outflow of His love for me... for while I was yet a sinner, He died for me (Romans 5:8), and I only love Him because He first loved me (1 John 4:19)!! Next, I would like to share with you a few excerpts from a book I am reading that purposefully and immediately inspired me to stand up from my study desk, march straight to my little writing nook, and just start typing this blog post. I believe the Spirit is saying to all of us... Yes, this is intense -- this thing called suffering -- but it is absolutely both necessary and beautiful if you are going to intimately know Him who you call "Lord" and "King". Because the world and even Christianity in general typically does not teach us that this suffering is an integral and very important part of our claim to be a child of God, we sometimes need reminding. If we say we are His, and we say we follow Him, then we too will willingly partake in suffering as He brings it to us... and of course, all for our good and His glory -- just as His suffering resulted in good for the whole world to the glory of the Most High God, Yahuah! And in remembering that the Word says that Yahusha learned obedience by the things He suffered, then we know that this too will apply to us as we learn (Hebrews 5:5-9). Of course, our suffering will ever compare to His, because there simply is no comparison. Yahusha's suffering included separation from His Heavenly Father while His full wrath was poured upon Him, whereas our suffering, although painful, will always bring the Father closer to us (Psalm 34:18). He will always equip us to bear what He brings to us, and through our full surrender, we will always grow from it and be able to share the resulting fruit to the benefit of others. I pray you are touched, blessed, and filled with the words I will share below taken from the book, "Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ", by Jeanne Guyon. This was written in the 1600s by a soul who understood these "depths" of which she speaks. This was never intended to be a published book, but only a written sharing with those closest to her of the revelations she had been given. However, our Heavenly Father had other plans to ensure it was passed on and made available to many generations that came after her. I am so very grateful and pray that you too will benefit as I am! The following excerpts are taken from Chapter 7, entitled "Abandonment and Suffering". Please allow these words to penetrate your soul and spirit and receive the nourishment they offer. Please NOTE, I have added a few words in brackets to provide context for full understanding. If you (have made the choice to fully surrender and abandon all your being to Yahusha ha Mashciach - Jesus Christ - to be blessed and to be loved [by Him], you cannot suddenly turn around and take back your life at another season.... when you are being crucified! Nor will you find any comfort from man when you have been put on the cross. Any comfort that comes to you when you are knowing the cross comes to you from the Lord. You must learn to love the cross. He who does not love the cross does not love the things of God (Matthew 16:23). It is impossible for you to truly love the Lord without loving the cross. The believer who loves the cross finds that the most bitterest things that come his way are sweet. The Scripture says, "To the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet." (Proverbs 27:7) You may be certain there will come to you an inward spiritual advancement when there is also in your life a real progress in knowing the experience of the cross. Abandonment to Christ and the experience of the cross go hand in hand. As soon as anything comes to you in the form of suffering, at that very moment a natural resistance will well up somewhere inside of you. When that moment comes, immediately resign yourself to God. Accept the matter. In that moment, give yourself up to Him as a sacrifice. Receive it as from God, no matter what it is. The burden is far lighter this way. [And why is it lighter this way?} Because you will have desired the cross. [Having said that the burden is far lighter when received from God], this will not prevent you from feeling the weight of the cross. If you have not felt the cross, then you have not suffered. Feeling the pain of suffering is one of the principal parts of suffering. Pain is an inescapable aspect of the cross. Without it, there has been no cross at all. Suffering is woven into the nature of the cross. Pain is at the center of knowing suffering. Please remember that your Lord chose to endure the most extreme violence the cross could offer [for your sake!]. Sometimes you bear the cross in weakness; at other times you may bear the cross in strength. But whether you bear it in weakness or in strength, bear it! Both weakness and strength should be the same to us since we bear the cross in the will of God. I mentioned a few posts back that I felt lead to share some writings on the act of discipline in our spiritual walk. This may sound cliche and like something we've always heard is necessary; however, in this "American church age", is it possible that maybe we haven't fully understood what this discipline really requires? How about discipline unto death? Oh no... there is no death in following Yahusha (Jesus); we are to be blessed and happy and successful - wrong! Blessings, absolutely, but more death than anything. Death of self simply must happen before we can really rise up in resurrection power and make a difference in this life for the Kingdom of God our Father, Yahuah. Remember this, just as our Savior uttered Himself, "Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit." Our death is His idea, but He promises to bring true life out of it. As I was reading this morning, the desperate "crosses" in our lives that many times are so devastating and even permanent are the very things that shape and mold us in those disciples who truly follow and honor the Father with our whole hearts and not just our mouths... whole hearts that crave righteousness unto full obedience. I am so thankful that our Father brings forth this type of discipline in pure love, patient longsuffering, and at a pace we can handle. All in all, we simply must submit to it, even if we say to Him... "Father, please consider taking this cup from me; however, not my will but your will be done." May the writing below prick your heart, inspire you, and also encourage you to get on, stay on, and continuously crave this narrow road with our Heavenly Father. At whatever stage you may be, know He is with you and will be absolutely faithful to you until the end, always finishing His perfect work. Please note that I have also added a Manna Bite that goes hand in hand with this post. It includes an excellent teaching on what it means to be perfect in Christ, which is really what discipline is all about! THE WAY OF THE CROSS
by Pietra de Bod God has chosen one thing to discipline us, and only that one thing. The Cross. Paul said, “For I determined not to know anything among you, save Jesus Christ and Him crucified” (1 Corinthians 2: 2 KJV). Rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft (1 Sam. 15: 23 KJV). In fact, the whole inception of evil comes from pride, which created a revolution in heaven. This revolution brought a rebellion that resulted in Lucifer and his angels being thrown out of heaven. The enemy has still not stopped with his rebellion and is working in the hearts of man. Unless you see the importance of two kingdoms that are at the heart of life and death, you are not living in reality. It is either about God’s Kingdom or satan’s kingdom. There is no middle ground. You cannot think that when you stand with your little toe in the kingdom of satan and the rest of you in the Kingdom of God that majority rules. No. We have to see this from a spiritual perspective. Whatever area we compromise in, is ground given to the kingdom of satan. God requires ultimate obedience. Totality. Any disobedience is rebellion, even partial obedience. God takes rebellion very seriously. He sees this as witchcraft. You may say, “Surely my disobedience is not witchcraft?” But God’s ways are not our ways. He does not weigh with the same scale we do. This requirement is way beyond our means. But He has made a way. Our response should be of one who is under new ownership. Hearts willing to be laid bare before Him as He shows us the areas that we either need to let go of or need to repent of. For how can we call Him Lord of our lives when in fact we choose the areas we think He may rule? He is either Lord of all or not Lord at all. The old man has died with Christ on the cross and we are no longer under the law but under grace (Romans 6: 14 KJV). Our relationship with Him is one of worship and obedience, which is the very evidence of our love for Him. Everything we do in our lives is an act of worship. Not sentimental love, for true love is obedience in all circumstances. Jesus said in John 15 that if we love Him we will do His commandments and we will abide in His love. This kind of love is backed up by works of loving obedience. All of us first clean a cup before we fill it and make good use of it. Why do we expect anything different from our Heavenly Father? He wants to use us, but He has to sanctify us, which is to set us apart. We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which He before ordained that we might walk in them (Ephesians 2: 6 – 10 KJV). When someone purifies gold, it is done by heating the gold to such a degree that all of the dross and impurities rise to the surface. Patiently he waits for this one thing as he looks into the gold. He is waiting for his reflection. Even so our Father, to whom we are His workmanship, watches jealously over us, until His Son is fully formed in us and He sees Jesus in us. This is the heart’s cry of Paul in Galatians 4:19, “My little children, of whom I travail in birth again until Christ be formed in you.” Our Father watches over us with patience and meticulously takes care of every detail. He is longsuffering and perfect in all His ways. When He looks at us, He sees the work He has done in us. Not just what He preordained, but the fulfilment of it in our lives as we trust Him day by day, of which He is the Author and Finisher. He has made all things beautiful in His time (Ecclesiastes 3:11 KJV). Can you see Him looking at you right this moment in anticipation as He works in you? We will not be able to be His disciples, (the root word of discipline) unless the cross is applied to our lives. He has to deal with every area and burn away all the wrong thinking and dependence we have in those areas in order for us to walk as He has walked. The cross will always be central to all that God is doing and it must be central to ours as well. The cross is the climax of all things past, present and future. It is the full expression of who God is and who we are in Him. It cannot be a means to an end. We stray from the authenticity of the gospel when we stray from the true message of the cross. In “The Cruciality of the Cross”, P. T. Forsyth writes, “A true grasp of the atonement not only meets many positive features of the present age, but above all it meets the age in its need and impotence, its need of a centre, of an authority, of a creative source, a guiding line, and a final goal.” The cross is where He transforms us. This transformation comes in the same way His transformation took place. From death unto life. As a young boy, Jesus submitted to authority. He submitted to His parents even though He knew that He was sent from heaven. He grew in maturity through submission to authority, therefore becoming disciplined. This is the life of a son. Just like you and me, He had to die daily and be obedient. But we are unable to die to self. We will do our best to die to self, only to find ourselves failing over and over again. We might think we are not trying to die in our own strength. But there is a thin line between walking by faith and doing something in your own strength. Just because you are doing something out of the right motive and it is doctrinally sound, does not mean it is done by faith. Only He can reveal to you from which source you are living. From the flesh or from the Spirit. And He causes us to fail miserably, even after we have done everything He has asked. We go to courses, we pray vigilantly and warfare, but still we fail miserably at dying to self. We cry out to Him feeling abandoned and alone. The reality is that no one can crucify himself. It is at the foot of the cross where even this reality has to hit home, where we see that all our spiritual efforts are like filthy rags. It is a stripping and an unveiling of the true self, where all that is left is only empty hands in complete dependency. We can only lie before the cross in true repentance, but it is the Holy Spirit that does the crucifying at that moment. At that very moment the kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies. This kernel of wheat, this life, dies to all so that Christ may be your all in all. Many refer to this as “The Dark Night of the Soul”. The Dark Night of the Soul is a book written many years ago by St John of the Cross about this actual spiritual dying. This is when the seed of faith will start to germinate in the dark soil. From this very dark place we start to slowly walk by faith in the fear of God because we no longer lean on the arm of the flesh. This is where the will has been brought into complete submission by the Spirit and absolute surrender. We then live by what He has done, and not by what we need to do or think we have done. You are brought to a place of complete and utter nothingness. This is why Paul said, I am nothing. In essence this is where we are brought to. We will often think we have come to the end of ourselves, but only God knows when we have reached that place of complete and utter surrender. To be utterly dependent on the Spirit within you and to submit and do His promptings by faith is the life of discipline. This is why Jesus said that He will liken the man that builds his house upon the rock, whose house did not fall, to those who hear His Word and DO them. Many people will see this as salvation through works, where in fact it is actually the obedience required after salvation. 2 Peter 1: 10 says, “Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fail.” And Philippians 2:12 says” Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” Your being, which is to say your thinking, speaking and hearing, all that constitute you, has to come from a basis of faith. The Word states, whatever is not of faith, is sin (Romans 14: 23 KJV). This is what it means to walk by the Spirit. We might be able to quote different verses, but do we truly believe it? We will be amazed how much we lean on the flesh in order to do that which is spiritual. Art Katz said, “Just because you can phrase something verbally does not mean you have the corresponding reality. Unless the spirit speaking is in agreement with the speaking, it is a lie, it is only a truth in part.” Has this revelation truly hit home? God has to show us the areas where we are living a lie. He has to lead us in various ways to experience our utter weakness and sinfulness that we too with Paul will cry out that we know that in our flesh no good thing dwells. This is exactly where He wants to get us. A place of such a clear vision and understanding that we can do nothing without Him (John 15 KJV). Not just of how weak we are, but actually how sinful we are as well. Unfortunately, some take longer than others to see the significance of their failures in the light of what Father is teaching them, and very often we have to learn the same lesson over and over again. He has to bring us to the end of our own works, to take up His works. This is what the Word means when saying we can now enter into His rest. To enter into His rest is to walk by faith. In Hebrews 4 we read that they ceased from their own works and entered by faith into His rest. The biggest struggle for us is to stop from religious works. I myself can testify that it took me many years to learn the reality of how I tried to save myself. This truth takes very long to sink in when you are desperately trying to live a holy life. This is because you think you are in God’s will and “oh so spiritual”. It is a juxtaposition between faith and doing. All of your doing must be by faith, but that faith is birthed out of death, which is at the cross. The reality of your own weakness in the light of His all sufficiency. In the light of what He has done. Not just your salvation, but His sufficiency for your every need. No one can teach you this. Only He can. And there is only one place where He will teach you this, the cross. He shows us our true motives, our pride, our selfishness and more. He intensifies the heat of the fire to burn away the dross so that He eventually sees His image in us. Only then does He equip us for our purpose in life. Many of us mistake the sanctification as the equipping, but it is actually the cleansing and the setting apart of the vessel. The equipping comes once the character has been formed. God is faithful and merciful to use us even in our immaturity at times. This does not mean the person is perfect and never sins after sanctification. It does mean that the vessel’s character has been forged to sustain the persecution that will come once God starts to truly use them. These saints have gone through immense suffering, in order to prepare them to bear the suffering and persecution that will follow. For the moment that you have died to self and no longer seek your own kingdom, but His, is the moment that you have become a target for the enemy of His Kingdom. This is where resurrection life is essential. With His character comes His anointing, power and authority. His strength is made perfect in our weakness, but only in obedience. This is very similar to the growing stages of a child from crawling to walking and running, to that of maturity. And God has never been in a hurry. It is a learning process of gradual maturity from childhood into sonship. This is why the creation is waiting for the adoption of the sons and daughters of God, and not the children of God. There is a big difference between a child of God and a son of God. Sonship speaks of maturity. We know that maturity has nothing to do with age, but rather with character. This is also where the cross no longer is just a symbol of dying to self, but the very power of God to save the lost! To be a son speaks of representation and government, whereas a child is restricted and still has to be fed the elementary of the Kingdom of God. For everything there is a season and a time (Ecclesiastes 3:11 KJV). His promise to us has always been that He will prune us so that we may bear fruit, and fruit in abundance. This glorifies the Father when we bear fruit. It also speaks of a process that is ongoing. The pruning is a necessary process of discipline. Paul clearly states that if we are not disciplined we are illegitimate and not true children of God (Hebrews 12: 8 KJV). Acts 5 says that the Holy Spirit is given to them that obeys Him. Many ask to be filled with the Spirit or desire a fresh touch from God, but how is their obedience to the Spirit? There has to be a willingness and a desire to recognize opportunities of obedience, which one welcomes in order to become a true son. This is when you choose to be sensitive to your Lord, your new owner who has bought you with His blood. We can look at the pruning as the cutting off, but sometimes a branch has to be tied in such a way that it bends in order to grow a certain direction. That is the discipline. Pruning stimulates growth, but discipline brings direction. There comes a time in our walk with God where we are no longer satisfied with the crumbs. We want the real thing and we do not want to see it just displayed in others, but in us. We want God to use us and we want to be done with sin. This is authenticity. Once we have committed to this kind of Christianity we commit to the way of the cross. In effect you are committing to dying. Not to salvation, that is just the beginning, but to dying. The way of the cross is not a sentimental feeling or romantic illusion, nor is it something we hang around our necks. It is reality! The way of the cross is death. It is the only true authentic way of saying it and anyone who has been on this very narrow way of the cross will testify to this. This is an obedience that takes pre-eminence over dreams, aspirations, traditions, culture, family and friends. This is where you tell God that you are willing to lay all aside and leave all behind to follow Him. Obedience unto the Lord is an obedience unto death. There can be no resurrection life without the cross. God uses the cross to cause us to die to self, so that we may walk in obedience to Him in faith. Each obedience requires the Holy Spirit whilst at the same time we become like Him. Embracing your cross is not an option. It is the only option. NOTE: Many of these writings by Pietra de Bod can be found in the PDF books on the Resources page of this site. Many of us find ourselves right now in the midst of the waters of difficulty, testing, and trial as our world and our country seem to be groaning from the inside out. We, the people of the Most High God, through this are being shaken and subjected to situations we have not yet experienced before. Situations that beg the question... will we trust Him or not? It brings to my heart over and over the scripture where Yahusha (Jesus) asks if He will find faith on the earth when He returns (Luke 18:8). I ask of my own heart... will he? As we go through what seems to be bad event after event in our nation and world, many of us find ourselves at times simply struggling in general.... whether it be from experiencing the death of a loved one, our own physical ailments, the lack of peace and normalcy in the earth, loneliness, the burden of family and friends who cannot see the truth and do not walk in the truth, and the list goes on and on. I have even found myself in what feels to be under a dark cloud of sadness where it seems so difficult to break through. But oh yes, Father always strengthens me to break through at some point (and many times through the prayers of my brothers and sisters)!! He IS completely faithful, and there is no change in this. Having said that, the time under the dark cloud can feel hopeless and helpless; it can literally feel as if there is no way out, even though we know He is there with us. These are the times we must break through, believing that we have been given the strength, the authority, the mind, and the love of Yahusha (as His word clearly says this)! Yahusha Himself also felt some of these very same things and always overcame through His faith and obedience to His Father. He knows intimately what we are going through as He experienced the same trials and temptations of man! He is there to help us break through if we will only believe; and He IS literally there beside us the whole time, although we may not feel Him at all! These trials are our practice to reach the place of trusting Him where the dark cloud has no place -- where there is no wavering and only loving and obedient faith... through Him. Oh how I long for this place; but honestly, there are still times when I feel so far away. I am reminded at this moment... These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. John 16:33 It is in these times that we must allow Father to use every second for our growth and His glory. In other words, let us not allow one tiny bit of our trial to be wasted! We must be willing to offer ourselves as living sacrifices to suffer as much as needed to prepare us to be fully His, for His kingdom and His purposes... a bride without spot or wrinkle! We are no longer our own; we have been bought with a very dear price. Honestly, without chastisement, testing, and suffering... can we really be His disciples and servants? No we cannot. So, our suffering is our price to pay. All in all, our trials are opportunities to prove we believe this and will stand in it, regardless. As I have experienced much of what I am sharing today, I felt compelled to encourage all of you who are likely experiencing very similar things. In the midst, it is so important that we allow the truth of the Word to be our encouragement, pressing on in full faith in Him; for there is no other option. And when the dark cloud comes and we feel we are trapped under it, we must STAND. Even if we stand in silence, we simply STAND in His truth. And when we stand, Father provides many infallible ways for us to overcome, and He is faithful in each one. These things we experience are for our own good and His glory; that is the foundational truth that must permeate our hearts. As we practice more and more, and sometimes have to practice the same thing more than once, we will begin to come to a place when we can truly rejoice in our trials and suffering. This has to be the very thing that inspired Paul to say this: Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5 In closing, I would like to share something that has encouraged and inspired my own struggling heart, helping me to more fully understand and embrace my times of suffering, even when I feel paralyzed in them. It is written by a very devout monk from the 1600s named Brother Lawrence who reached the ultimate place of surrender and rejoicing in the midst of suffering. These words are taken from a letter that he wrote to a brother in Christ to encourage him in his own time of suffering. Please allow this wisdom to minister to your soul and equip you to willingly suffer for our Savior -- all the while knowing that this same level of divine peace can be yours in the midst. All we have to do is want it and ask for it, patiently staying the course as our loving, compassionate, and understanding Father and Savior will work it out and finish it in His time and at a pace we can handle. May you be blessed and encouraged as you encounter and endure your own walk of suffering... I thank our Lord that you have received some relief from your suffering, for I know this was what you have been wanting. I have been near death often. I have never been as content as I was then. Therefore I did not pray for relief, but I prayed for strength to suffer with courage, humility, and love. How sweet it is to suffer with God! However great the suffering may be, we receive it with love. It is paradise to suffer and be with Him.
If we desire to enjoy the peace of paradise in this life, we must accustom ourselves to intimate, humble, and loving communion with Him. We must keep our spirits from wandering away from Him on any occasion. We must make our heart a spiritual temple where we can adore Him continually. We must watch incessantly over ourselves, so that we may not do, say, nor think anything that may offend Him. When our minds are focused on God, suffering will be filled with peace and solace. In the beginning, it is very difficult to arrive at this state, for we must act purely in faith. Even though it is difficult, we also know that we can do all things with the grace of God, which He never refuses to give to those who ask for it earnestly. Knock and persevere in knocking. I assure you that He will open to you in His time, and immediately grant you what He has delayed giving you during these many years. God knows best what we need, and everything that He does is for our good. If we realized how much He loves us, we would always be willing to receive both the sweet and the bitter equally and indifferently from His hand. Everything that came from Him would please us. The most painful afflictions appear intolerable only when we view them in the wrong light. When we understanding that it is the hand of God that dispenses them, and we know that it is our loving Father who humbles and wounds us, then our sufferings lose their bitterness. They even become sources of consolation. May all our energy be devoted to knowing God. The more one knows Him, the more one desires to know Him. Knowledge is commonly understood as the measure of love. The deeper and more extensive our knowledge of Him is, the greater will be our love. If our love of God is great, we will love Him equally in pain and pleasure. *This excerpt was taken from the book, "The Practice of the Presence of God".
short months ago. When looking closer, I did notice a few things that gave it a special beauty... it provided a resting place for a little bird (at the very top), and its branches were still strong, stretched out high as if the tree was praising its Creator. This tree inspired me to be just like it was.... stripped, exposed, and faithfully waiting in a manner of praise for new life that will soon come. Many of us are going through an intense season of death to self, so we are basically like the tree in many ways. In this season of barrenness and death, we willingly lie bare and exposed before the Father as He faithfully prunes us and protects us. Because of His faithfulness and our trusting of His plans and purposes, we continue to praise Him in anticipation of the new life to come, no matter how uncomfortable we may become. And also during this process, we offer ourselves as a "resting place" of comfort and encouragement to others who are going through similar seasons. Then comes that new season we've been waiting for... where life will return and new fruit will come forth -- fruit that is sweeter and more mature than before and has been prepared especially for Kingdom purposes! Alleluyah!! And thus we are reminded and know with all assurance and faith that this season of barrenness and death is a necessary step towards the season of new life -- all for our good and the glory of the Father! Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. John 12:24 Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? Isaiah 43:19 This little experience led me back to again read the writing titled, "Naked", by my sister from South Africa. It so perfectly portrays the desperate need for this humbling and uncomfortable process to take place in us and the sweet fruit that will come forth as a result. Even if you have read this when I posted it before, I encourage you to read it again... you will likely catch things you didn't before and even receive deeper understanding. Overall, enjoy and be encouraged, because this process we endure at various times in our journey as a child of the Most High has "Kingdom" all over it!! Praise His name! NAKED by Pietra de Bod I have learned through the years that our God is a God who devastates. He is loving, long-suffering and all together wonderful. But, He is also a God who devastates. The reason I say this is that I see a pattern in the Word where He brings His chosen ones to great heights, only to bring them to complete weakness and brokenness. Almost like a potter who beautifully molds a pot, only to crush the clay in his hands again. Over and over and deeper and deeper. There was a day that I came to that place. The time came that He fulfilled a word that He gave me. He asked me that day if I am willing to stand before Him alone. I did not know what that meant at that stage, but I knew that it meant that He would take everything away. I was not sure how He would do it. It was another kind of taking away. A spiritual taking away. I often go through a message or am a message before I can write about it. I was reading in Ephesians 1 the beautiful prayer that Paul was praying. He was praying that they would receive the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him. This beautiful prayer became my prayer. However, Father had something different in mind to fulfill this prayer than what I did. No surprise there. The more I prayed this prayer, the more I felt instead of seeing Him clearer, my view became dimmer. Less focused. I did not understand this at all. The next day I woke up so disgruntled and sad that I cried out to Him to meet me where I am at. In my misery. Not having sinned, but because I knew that He was trying to show me something and I was just not seeing it. Father reminded me of Paul’s opening words in Romans 1. Paul, a servant of God, called to be an Apostle, separated unto the Gospel. Paul, before anything else, knew that he was a servant. Jesus, first act was to make himself a servant. Paul admonishes us in Philippians that we too must have the same mind that was in Christ Jesus. So here I was, praying for the spirit of wisdom and revelation of the knowledge of Him, trusting to be used in greater measure with greater revelation, and He leads me to servanthood. This is not anything new and I have written often about servanthood. But once again, He was showing me that even though what I was praying for, although scriptural, His perfect will was to answer the prayer in His way. Once again I was confronted with the fact that humility holds such a dear place in His heart and far outweighs anything we could ever do for Him or have done for Him and His Kingdom. We often humble ourselves, and it is a daily choice. But servanthood far outweighs Apostleship, or Prophet or Teacher. It was our Savior's first choice. And it begins as a choice, but it is not just something you do, but who you are. You become a servant with every choice daily as you choose to humble yourself. It becomes who you are and not just what you do. Even our Jesus is known as the Suffering Servant. In the light of what Father showed me a deep sense of how little everything I have ever done for Him came over me. Deeply touched by the Spirit I knew that we so easily define ourselves or are defined by others, by what we do. And what we do are very important to Father, but what we are, more. Gaining understanding in this, I knew that when He asked me if I am willing that He would strip me of everything, that before Him none of those things count anything. I will not stand before Him with three books at one side, and on the other with everything I have done through all the years for His Kingdom. None of these things will stand as a reason why I should be able to come into His presence and enter His Kingdom. Yes, He will reward me as He sees fit, but in essence, they are not my ticket. Now, I knew that of course. But the reality hit me so hard that to come to Him, can only be done when I am clothed in His Blood. There is no other way to come to the Father except through the Blood. In theory, we know all these things and I have known it too. But our theories, that is to say our truths, has to be reality. Because your reality will always radically change you. He was asking me to lay it all again on the altar…everything. I felt the need to stand before Him and do a prophetic act. I took off my gown and let it fall to the ground, letting it fall at my feet. Crying out to Him in complete surrender, I gave Him everything I have ever done. In a sense stripping myself. Previously I have given Him everything I have had, my child, husband, house, dreams, aspirations, talents etc. But this time, everything I have ever done. Every person I have ever led to Him. Every counselling session, every prayer, everything written and every possible thing I have done for the Kingdom of God. And yet, standing in my pajamas there remained still yet a covering. The identity of who I have become in everything I have ever done for the Kingdom. Subconsciously we see ourselves as what we do. Not necessarily in pride, but it somehow clothes us. This too had to go, and stripping myself of everything, I stood naked before my God with nothing. Tears rolling down my face like an endless river, all I could do is stand before Him with nothing. Nothing more to give and nothing but the Blood of the Lamb covering me. My only entrance to Him. My only right to Him. My only way to Him. Standing alone before My God. No longer someone with a résumé of what I have done for the Kingdom, but empty and naked before the Most High God. Weak and trembling, not strong and confident. Poor and vulnerable, knowing that there is nothing I could possibly say to Him. What could I possibly give Him? Dust. I have never felt so weak. So absolutely vulnerable and dependent on Him. Isaiah said when he encountered God, “Woe is me, for I am a man of unclean lips!” The first thing is…”I am a man”. Man was formed from the dust of the earth…earthen vessels. Devastated I stood before Him, knowing that I am but dust. Not consenting to it, but knowing it in my deepest understanding. My prayer answered of “Lord, give me the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of You.” To know Him, He often has to first deal with us. He often has to show us who we are first. Dust. Only the Spirit of God can reveal this to us in reality. I have realized that in our spiritual growth we grow in degrees. We fall deeper and deeper in love with Him. We grow stronger and stronger in faith. All the fruits of the Spirit grow with every pruning and with every depth we reach or every height we grow, there is always a degree. Always a death, a cutting away. The same holds true for humility. We all know that we are nothing and that we are dust. This is not new to us. But Father wants to bring us to increasing reality of it, if we allow Him. We have to be willing for the stripping and we have to be willing to seek Him for it until it becomes our reality. Becoming a servant, being humble, means that there is absolutely nothing beneath us. Nothing. Because when we are at our lowest and weakest, we are dust. Dust is already on the floor, at the lowest. The earth is the Lord’s footstool, and yet He himself, became a man. Dust. He made Himself a servant and became obedient even unto death. I realized that in this weak place, this naked place, our dependence on Him ever increases and leaves us like little children before our Mighty God. So dependent on His grace. Then, nothing will be beneath us. Not one thing asked of us. Convenient or inconvenient. No task required by others or demanded by others will be beneath us. We will have no accolades, no résumés that supports us in our high estimation of ourselves. We will have no reputation apart of just being servants in weakness. Father led me to the Book of Job. Job who was God’s pride, was stripped. Devastated. Allowing everything to be taken from this man, not because he did anything wrong. Job was known for his righteousness, prosperity and God’s favor. After Job was stripped he said the following: Job 1: 20 - 22 Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, and said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord. In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly. This is how we are to stand before our God. Naked. We are not to wait before we stand before Him one of these days and lay our crowns at His feet, but even now, we are to lay all we have and done at His feet. No résumé. Just dust at His feet. He alone gets all the glory, honour and power forever. Amen. Before Him we can only lie as dust at His feet, knowing that it is only the blood of the Lamb that covers our nakedness. Clothed in His righteousness we stand, humbly bowing our hearts as servants of the Most High God. We shall soon stand before Him, naked. No words we will say will secure our access. No deed done by us our security. Only the Blood and the Grace of God. Scripture References: Hebrews 4:13 13 Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do. Philippians 3: 1 - 16 1 Finally, my brethren, rejoice in the Lord. To write the same things to you, to me indeed is not grievous, but for you it is safe. 2 Beware of dogs, beware of evil workers, beware of the concision. 3 For we are the circumcision, which worship God in the spirit, and rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh. 4 Though I might also have confidence in the flesh. If any other man thinketh that he hath whereof he might trust in the flesh, I more: 5 Circumcised the eighth day, of the stock of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, an Hebrew of the Hebrews; as touching the law, a Pharisee; 6 Concerning zeal, persecuting the church; touching the righteousness which is in the law, blameless. 7 But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. 8 Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, 9 And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith: 10 That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death; 11 If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead. 12 Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. 13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, 14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. 15 Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in anything ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you. 16 Nevertheless, whereto we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us mind the same thing. 2 Corinthians 12: 7 - 10 7 And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. 8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. 9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. I would also like to remind you that you can access all of Pietra's newer writings on her blogsite, The Spirit of Wisdom and Revelation. It has been some time since I have read such Holy Spirit-inspired revelations that feed my soul and correlate so perfectly with my current walk in these last days. Father is using her to help prepare His remnant for what is to come. I am convinced you will be blessed as well!
I have posted on suffering before, and it seems it's that time again. Suffering is absolutely and equivocally a part of our walk. Without it, can we truly know our Savior... the Suffering Servant? And as we all desire to know Him more than anything else, we learn to offer ourselves up to these times in our lives when we must suffer in our hearts, our souls, our minds, and our bodies -- all that we may partake of a small portion of what He endured because of His amazing and endless love for us. And because ALL things work together for our good, we wait in anticipation for the wonderful good He will always bring out of our suffering. Praise Him for His faithfulness! Below I share a writing by Pietra de Bod that describes suffering in a way that encourages greater understanding, peace, and willingness to submit to it every single time it is brought our way. I pray that if you are in a time of suffering that this writing will feed you, inspire you, and bring strength for endurance so that not one second of your suffering is wasted and all things are accomplished through it according to the Father's perfect will. I also have a video listed below that is very fitting, as it describes in great detail from a medical perspective just what type of suffering our Savior, Yahusha ha Maschiach (Jesus Christ) endured. This is the type of video you will be compelled to share! Suffering by Pietra de Bod People like to live in unreality because they do not want to see things as they truly are. They prefer denial. Reality is not easy to deal with. It confronts us with our apathy and demands action. So unless there is an identification with reality, you will not be willing to suffer for the truth in obedience. It will not be because you have to, but it will be out of a vital union with His heart, seeing what He sees and hearing what He hears, as the Head of the Body. What breaks His heart, will break yours. Such a death, demonstrated by ultimate obedience, will bring with it resurrection life. Every condition in life has an appropriate obedience to bring God’s life into it, but we must be willing to first see it as it is in reality. These obediences are death. It is a willing suffering. His love is a suffering love. Once we see in reality the true state of things as God sees it, seeing with His seeing, it will bring with it the ultimate urgency in obedience to God. Art Katz says, “We will not see the ultimate requirement if we choose to live in denial and it is the very reason why we do not have the stomach to obey ultimately. We will only be willing to oblige Him, but not suffer for Him, and therefore we fall short of His glory!” We read in Romans 8 the following: 17 And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. How will we then be able to stand as Ephesians 6 requires of us, and how will we be able to stand during persecution, even in our day-to-day life. We hear words like our warfare is not carnal and that it is not against flesh and blood, but our actions show that the reality has not sunk in. We still fight amongst ourselves hurting each other, the Body of Christ. What obediences and seeing precluded the Richard Wurmbrands, Dimitri Dudumans and Brother Yuns of this life? And why are we so far from their realities? These are strange men to us. Our obediences which is as death to us, is God’s ministry of mercy towards us who suffer. How will we be able to extend mercy to others if we have no identification with mercy? How weightless is our mercy and devoid of identification with hardship? Is this not who Jesus is – the High Priest of our faith, because of His identification as the suffering servant? Our obediences will often baptize us in weakness, so that His strength can be made perfect in us. Being broken vessels, marred by the Potter is not the actions of a sadistic god who enjoys the pain and suffering of his creation. No! The broken vessel is the one whom He has broken in order to deal with all the impurities deeply seated within. As long as you have all your pieces together, you are still in control, but by your brokenness His very will is accomplished. He shares not His glory with the flesh, lest we say it is out of our own accomplishments and effort. He was wounded for our transgressions, bruised for our iniquities and by His stripes we are healed. All glory has a prelude of suffering and obedience of an ultimate kind. If you listen to the experiences of Richard Wurmbrands, Dimitrov Duduman and many others, you will hear of great suffering and their obedience to God in that suffering, which was of an ultimate kind. But their testimonies are not void of the glory of God and the presence of God in a very real way. In fact, their eyes were opened to another reality, which is of the spirit, and this reality is much more real to them than the natural. An interesting note is that of today’s “Prophets” with all their dreams and visions, how many of them have a testimony of the accompanying suffering that preludes such tremendous visions of God? The question is now, not then, whether we are willing for such an obedience that will require suffering? Our flesh cries out for release and comfort. It hates suffering! Everything in us wants to be released from it. Can we suffer to say no when the temptation for relief comes to us in the words of “you deserve it, take it.” Or, “It is not the end of the world” or, “you can do it tomorrow”? Will you be able to see this as temptation and will you be able to deny it daily? Day after day? Do you have the mature character to resist it by a consistent life of discipline in a history with God? Do you even have a history with God? To live before the audience of one, where no one sees your suffering and that which you lay on the altar, no one except the One who sees all. And lest we think that our obediences are our safeguard, think again, because the enemy will make use of the opportunity to let us focus on our obediences in our pride, just as those who suffer from self-pity focus on their suffering. Paul only rejoiced and boasted in his infirmities and weaknesses. God’s strength could only pitch over Paul in his understanding and bracing of his weaknesses, because Paul knew exactly what kind of man he was before the Lord saved him. This was the reason for the process of sanctification he went through, especially in all his suffering. Paul’s focus was not his suffering or obediences, but it was the glory of God. For of Him and through Him and to Him is all glory! (Romans 11: 36 KJV) In the same way Abraham had to die in effect to himself before he agreed to sacrifice his own son in obedience. For Abraham it had to be a done deal even before he and Isaac walked up the mountain. Abraham was not in dread all the way up. In his heart He already knew that God would provide, even if it was going to be after the knife pierced his son’s heart. And God’s answer to Abraham was, “Now I know you fear Me…” How much did Father suffer when there was no provision made when His Son became the sacrifice? The Word says in Ecclesiastes that everything has a season and a time. We go through different seasons in our life and some of them can seem unbearable. Can you lay down your will to when that season should end? Are you willing to let it last forever if it will serve His purpose? Waiting is not for the faint of heart. It is a death to your ways and an embracing of His. Especially when you do not understand. “How one dies reveals who one or what one is. Dying is an ultimate moment, which reveals ultimately.” – Art Katz. Very often God brings to death even ministries, dreams and even marriages, so that when He raises it, He gets the glory. This is for us very difficult to understand. It makes no sense, because we cannot fathom that God would do something like that. It seems contrary to the Word of God. However, that is like saying that the only bad things that can happen to us is that which the enemy does. But do we ever ask the question why would God allow the enemy to go so far with us? He has the whole spectrum and knows everything years in advance. He is outside of time, sovereign and He knows what He is doing. Dare we actually believe that He can do with us just what He pleases just as the Potter has a right to break the pot and mar it? Not because He is vindictive, but because He knows the end from the beginning. He is the Alpha and the Omega at exactly the same time. The moment there is a jealousy in our lives for the glory of God, hardly anything in our lives will remain untouched by Him. If we abandon our lives and our thoughts to Him and learn to understand His ways, it will protect us from the pitfalls and deceptions of this world that will cause us to turn against God when things go wrong. So when the hour of testing comes, when persecution comes, how we react, finds us out as we truly are. It will either show forth the fruit of all our previous obediences, which is unto life everlasting, or disobedience which is unto death. Can you dare to believe that your sickness is for the glory of God? I do not say that God is the author of sickness, but is it possible that God has a greater purpose with it, than just your healing? The disciples asked Jesus who was responsible for the man born blind, his parents or because of sin? Jesus replied, “Neither his sin nor his parents but it was for the glory of God.” (John 9: 3 KJV) My interpretation of that is that God who has already written all that would happen to Jesus in His book, predetermined that Jesus would heal this man, and that it would be for His glory. Of course, any healing done by Jesus is for the glory of God, but surely the disciples knew that. Everybody wants to make sense of pain, and often this relates to having to blame someone. Once there is understanding of the way the Spirit works, you start to look out for those occasions because His discipline becomes a delight. Maturity starts to take place and mourning and murmuring is replaced with a teachable spirit that is willing to suffer. Not one moment in your life is insignificant or accidental, but in everything God has a purpose, whether devastating or not. For God every second of our day is accounted for – all our days are written in His book. He knows our Aquila’s heel, that very thing that twists the knife in our already open wound. He knows what is needed to break the flesh. In my own life I can testify of great hardship and I came to the understanding that this was required in His great wisdom to break me. And break me it did. But praise God He built me up again! It was not easy, but oh so worth it! You can either work with Him or against Him. Do not think your inactivity is not a choice. If you choose to not do anything, you are still rebelling. But if you choose to be attentive to His ways and principals there will not only be growth and healing, but greater intimacy. Hebrews 5: 8 says, “Although He was a Son, He learned obedience by what He suffered.” When we start to serve God in such a way, we will be indeed seen as a peculiar people. People will see you as crazy and heretical even. God does not require us to go with the masses…the sheep knows His voice. His sheep runs to a different beat. They do not act out before contemplation and they know how to wait on God. The sheep do not follow other sheep, they follow the Shepherd. They are altogether not like this world. We will often seem loveless, either by our silence or by our words. The fact that we do not react and do like the rest of the church or the world, the way the rest of believers act, are altogether very strange to them. We are weird to them. This all disqualifies us for the world, but qualifies us for God. This is a people that do not find it necessary to defend or prove themselves to others, not out of arrogance, but because of their security in God. Suffering is God’s judgment upon us. The sin which would not have exposed itself has to be revealed, in order to prepare the vessel, not just in cleansing and sanctification, but to strengthen it in its weakness. We cannot know God’s mercy without His judgment. For as we are broken in judgment, so we are built up into a new vessel to be able to have such a treasure within. A vessel (body) fit for use, which only would have come out of suffering and judgment. For as the things of the Spirit cannot be received by the natural man, who considers it foolishness, and indeed he cannot understand it, because it has to be spiritually discerned, so the spiritual man judges all things, and is himself judged by no man (1 Corinthians 2: 15 KJV). For who knows the thoughts of God that he may instruct Him, but we have the mind of Christ. The flesh cannot contain, apprehend or hold and receive into itself the revelations of God. He can only use us to a certain extent because of an undisciplined life. Living undisciplined lives both in the natural and spiritual. All because of our unwillingness for God to deal with us. You don’t give a sword to a child. Suffering prepares the soul in discipline and the body for endurance in times of travail. Who is able to share in the fellowship of the suffering of Christ if they have not been prepared and trained in the school of Christ in longsuffering? This kind of endurance does not happen in a moment, but in the school of life, until we reach the full stature of Christ and Christ is formed in us. Gethsemane is called the Olive Press. On that night, the Olive of God was pressed, however oil did not run out of Him, but blood. Our Saviour was crushed by our sins and by the wrath of God. No man touched Him in that garden when the blood flowed. It was His own agony and suffering that made the blood flow from Him. Blood flowing willingly for us and our redemption as the Son of Man. Laying His life down for us, so we too must lay our lives down for one another, as His body. There can be no identification with His Body, without the identification of the cross, which is suffering. A suffering that leads to ultimate obedience, obedience of an ultimate kind, even unto death. Consecration allows the Holy Spirit to work without restriction. Before consecration we sit on the sideline and wait for God to do everything. Our will is passive. But when we consecrate ourselves to Him, we make a decision to actively engage and submit to His discipline. A life of consecration is a life of obedience after obedience. Watchman Nee in his book, “Releasing of the Spirit”, says, “It takes consecration plus the discipline of the Holy Spirit to make us vessels fit for the Master’s use.” |
Special NoteThese writings are written in love and a spirit of servitude. They are not designed to judge but make us think. We are all sinners in need of saving, and we all need encouragement and absolute truth to endure on the narrow road to sanctification and ultimately eternal life. Categories
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